Crabs, Butterbeer, and Boating Oh My!
by sarahwicz
Summary: Harry finds himself in a very strange dream that might tell him something very important or might just be very annoying. Very funny if I do say so myself! Rated T just in case.


**Crabs, Butterbeer, and Boating Oh My!**

A/N: I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did but I do not. Oh well… at least I have Bob II my chicken! Dedicated to my friend KrazywithaK.

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Harry: I'm bored! Nobody is here!

Ron: I know this sucks.

Harry: How did you get here? Nobody's here!

Ron: I don't know.

Hermione: Well you're still bored so that doesn't solve anything!

Harry and Ron: OO

Harry: How did you get here?

Hermione: I flooed!

Harry and Ron: Ooooooooooooh…

Girl #1 and #2: Chicken in the kitchen, got the hatchet, cut of its head, blood splatters everywhere!

Hermione: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo, the poor chicken!

Girl #1: Yes, tis a sad tale…

Girl #2: One must be strong of heart to hear this tale of sadness and woe.

Harry: Really?

Girl #1: No, but it makes it more dramatic.

Ron: What a rip off!

Girl #2: Too bad, we love being dramatic! I'm Pyro.

Girl #1: I'm Mono.

Everyone else: OO

Pyro: Hey, if you think we're weird, meet our friends. You would think we're the most normal people alive!

Hermione: No, we wouldn't.

Pyro: True…

Mono: Are you guys bored? (jumps up and down from having too much sugar)

Harry and Ron: (watching Mono jump up and down) Hell yeah!

Hermione: Language!

Everyone: (sticks their tongues out at Hermione)

Hermione: Grr…

Pyro: Hermione grr…ed! I have a friend named Grr….

Mono: Do you guys want to be not bored?

Everyone: (nods)

Mono: Pyro, you know what I'm going to do! Why did you nod your head?

Pyro: (watching T.V. show) Come on Raven, kiss B.B.! What did you say Mono?

Mono: (groans) Never mind…

Ron: What can we do to be not bored?

Mono: Go on my boat!

Everyone: (suddenly appears on Mono's boat)

Pyro: Hey, I thought your boat was a lot smaller then this! This is like a cruise ship… wait you didn't steal… you did didn't you?

Mono: No of course not! I bought it!

Pyro: For how much?

Mono: $123,456,789,987,654,321.99

Pyro: Seems to be a good amount.

Everyone else: (stare)

Harry: What do we do now!

Mono: We ride really fast!

Ship: (starts going light speed)

Mono: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Everyone else: (throwing up)

Ship: (stops)

Mono: Now wasn't that fun!

Everyone: OO

Whitey: Hi Mono! Listen, Pinky, and I are going to search for the soy sauce and the ultimate shiny so…

Pyro and Mono: First left, first right, then the first door on the ceiling.

The Golden Trio: OO

Pinky: Thanks!

Hermione: Now what do we do?

Mono: We steam crabs (takes out wand).

Pyro: You can do magic?

Mono: Nope this is Harry's wand. I'm going to try to get a pot.

Harry: My wand. Nooooooooooooooo!

Mono: Shut up!

Harry: (pout)

Mono: (waves wand thousands of crabs are raining down) Oops!

Everyone: OO

Pyro: Let me try! (Waves wand and hundreds of pots rain down) Now we have enough pots for the crabs!

Harry: (snatches his wand) My wand is back!

Pyro's T.V.: We interrupt this reunion to bring you a news flash. Thousands of crabs are raining down. Voldemort has gotten smashed underneath them. He is dead. Potter's wand is the cause of it so he's our new hero, joy. That is all.

Ron: Since when did Snape work for the T.V.?

Pyro: That actually sounded more like my friend Sylvia.

Hermione: Ron, Snape wouldn't work for the T.V. he would work for-

Harry: Voldemort's dead!

Everyone: Party!

Mono: With Crabs! (grabs a bushel of crabs puts them in a pot and seasons them) Put salt in their eyes put salt in their eyes!

Everyone: OO

Mono: All done!

Pyro: (touches flames and they go out) Nooooooooooooooo!

Everyone: (eats crabs and agrees Mono is a good cook)

Mono: You know what we need now?

Pyro: Beer!

Hermione: But we can't have beer, we're not of age yet!

Mono: Fine, we'll have Butterbeer!

Everyone: (drinks Butterbeer)

Pyro: Okay Harry time to wake up.

Harry: This was a dream!

Mono: Yep, and you'll never (sniff) see us again (sob).

Pyro: It's okay. Bye Harry!

Harry: (wakes up from dream) That was a good dream!

**ONE YEAR LATER**

Voldemort: You cannot win Potter!

Harry: Yes, I can! (Waves wand and thousands of crabs rain from the sky)

Voldemort: I'm dead! (falls dead)

Everyone: Yeah!

Harry: Crab feast! (starts cooking crabs)

Everyone: (eats crabs and agrees Harry is a good cook)

Hermione: I had a dream last year about this happening.

Ron: Same.

Harry: That's how I knew how to defeat Voldemort. Because of Mono and Pyro.

The Golden Trio: They were so annoying. I hope we never see them again!

**STARTING THEIR SEVENTH YEAR**

Dumbledore: We have new students joining our seventh year Gryffindor students this year. They should be here by now!

Pyro and Mono: (slams open Great Hall door) We're back!

Harry: I thought you were a dream.

Pyro: Nope.

Ron: I thought you were gone.

Pyro: Nope.

Hermione: You said we never would see you again!

Mono: Well you know how we love to be dramatic!

Mono and Pyro: Rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga, rutabaga!

The Golden Trio: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

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A/N: I hoped you liked it! Please review and no flames! 


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